"How Do You Navigate Ambiguity?"
One of my former students asked me this question recently, and it gave me pause. My first reflex was to say something ambiguous, like “I do the right thing” or “I listen to my feelings.” But flippant responses to serious questions aren’t especially helpful.
Ambiguity can come from us being in an unfamiliar situation, or in a familiar situation with no clear correct answer/choice/outcome. How do I navigate ambiguity? Hmm… On the one hand, ambiguity is everywhere. Aside from adding 2 pencils + 2 pencils and getting 4 pencils, or maybe falling down and hitting your head on the sidewalk, most of life leaves us in an at least somewhat ambiguous position. We never have all the information we need... So navigating ambiguity is like the cliché fish navigating the cliché water it doesn’t know exists.
On the other hand, we’re able to act in real, even decisive, ways in response to most of the things that confront us in a day. We’re hungry so we eat. We have a job, so we go to work. We follow traffic laws (mostly), and we do what we can to avoid hitting our head on the sidewalk. So life’s ambiguity is only so ambiguous.
...I’m rambling, obviously struggling with the ambiguity of how I navigate ambiguity. More Hmm...
How about this: I think I've been learning to navigate ambiguity by watching disaster videos. Not tsunamis and hurricanes, but smaller-scope disasters that can happen to any of us (if we’re unlucky or lack common sense). You know what I mean. The car crashes, the skateboarders smashing their tenders on a stair-railing, the idiots falling off ladders. My disaster-video addiction started with AFV when our kids were young. We all loved the show, and it provided a valuable education, especially for our son. He learned early to say, “Go ahead. You jump!” to his friends when they were about to do something colossally stupid. Along the way, he cultivated some common sense and refined the situation-assessment skills that are turning out to be useful now that he’s a US Marine.
The same is true for me—and maybe for all of us. Watching people do smart or stupid things allows us to learn vicariously. We see choices and consequences in “real time.” We sort out the good from the bad, the dangerous from the safe, the happy from the sad without having to go through it all ourselves. Sure, our own experiences are our best teachers. But learning from others (by their example, or by asking them for help) comes in a close second. And all that learning, a little at a time, is useful.
The more of the world we see and the more we learn about it from others (as in, the more information we gather), the more likely we are to have at least some means of making an educated choice in the face of ambiguity. Of course, there’s risk to making choices when we don’t have all the information and can’t see a clear outcome. But tough bananas. Human beings have no choice but to live with the risks. We’re just too limited to have all the answers.
So how do I navigate ambiguity? The best I can, with the help of things I’ve learned on my own and observed and heard in the experiences of others. That’s an incomplete answer, of course, barely any better than, “Do the right thing” or “Trust your feelings.” But at the moment, live, watch, and learn—and sprinkle in some courage—is all I’ve got. Ambiguous but honest.
(Now I think I’ll watch people brake-check semi-trucks for a few minutes…)