My name is Caroline, and I’m an oversharer. Give me five minutes and I’ll tell you all about my ceramic gnome collection, that one road trip I took to Wyoming in fourth grade, and my pet fish who could dance. But while talk-talk-talking can be a great way to make new friends, it’s gotten me into some trouble too. I often trust when I shouldn’t. I open up to the wrong people who hurt my feelings...
…Because navigating vulnerability is really hard. I want to share my stories and connect deeply with people, but not scare them off. I want to be kind, but not seen as weak by those who don’t understand kindness. I want to take advice, while ignoring the critics who don’t matter. But I don’t quite have that balance figured out yet. Just this morning I started a whole conversation with a girl I thought I knew but clearly didn’t. As I walked away, I started worrying about how crazy she must think I am. But that’s out of my control.
The only thing I have power over is deciding whether or not I care. And to be honest, I really don’t care that much. A little, but not that much. I’m comfortable oversharing and risking weirdness. I’m comfortable not being everyone’s cup of tea. Because the people who shut me down for being myself are usually the ones wishing they were more comfortable with their own vulnerabilities. And those sorts of people tend to be mean, so I wouldn't like them anyway. I’m just going to keep putting myself out there, talking to strangers, and sharing my feelings even though it’s scary.
And I’m not the only one who feels this way. Author Brené Brown is well known for her work on living wholeheartedly. In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, Brown describes three important tools for becoming more comfortable with our vulnerabilities. She says that the courage to be ourselves, compassion for others, and the ability to form deep personal connections are our gifts to share: our “gifts of imperfection.” And I really do believe that.
Our flaws and vulnerabilities are what allow us to bond closely with each other and find true companionship. That’s how I’ve made every friend I have. So, is it really worth letting our fear of rejection stop us from opening up? Because I’m scared of a lot of things. But what I’m most afraid of is letting that fear stop me from doing them anyway. Not everything is going to work out, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.