Why Do You Like Chocolate?
The authentic self does not need a reason to support an answer to a question. When asked, “Why do you like chocolate?” the authentic self responds with, “Because I do.” That's it.
This wisdom came from a conversation with my father. We were discussing authenticity, talking about how hard it can be to determine the authentic path forward in our lives. As in, finding the path our true, authentic self most wants to pursue. In hopes of getting to the bottom of this, we started by discussing what we thought would be an authentic answer to the simple question, “Why do you like chocolate?” We reached the conclusion that the authentic self does not need to provide reasons for a statement it believes. An authentic statement doesn't come with a supporting argument. So, the authentic response to such a question would be, “Because I do.”
The question then becomes, “How does one reach such an authentic answer?” We thought about what would make someone answer inauthentically. In other words, why do we feel like we need to craft a supporting argument acceptable to others for liking chocolate? Well, we feel like we must argue because we think the simple fact that we like chocolate is not a good enough reason to like chocolate. As though we need to validate our choice to like chocolate so it's acceptable to others, to justify and defend our position on chocolate.
Perhaps these justifications will answer the question for the person asking, but I don’t believe they get at how we truly feel. We can argue left and right about how chocolate has a smooth texture, how it’s good for you in moderation, how it makes you happy, how it might even help people live longer, how it melts so effortlessly in your mouth, but the truth is, we really don’t care about any of that when we’re eating chocolate. We like chocolate because we do. We feel we must put effort into liking chocolate when there’s really no effort required at all. Perhaps, then, being authentic means putting aside the effort required to justify a choice and simply yielding to what you feel is true.
This is obviously easier said than done, and in a lot of situations, it may be true that the choices in front of you are complex, convoluted, and downright confusing. Oftentimes it’s not as simple as looking at the choices in front of you and applying that “Because I do” mentality. As I said, it’s not about searching for an authentic choice, but surrendering to one. But how?
First, take a step back and regain perspective on your life and the choice in front of you. Then think about what you would choose if you didn't have to explain yourself to someone else. What do you believe to be true, regardless of reasoning that might satisfy others? Pretend logic doesn't exist, pretend any convincing argument doesn't exist. Where does that leave you? What do you drift toward when you surrender control to your authentic self? This isn’t to say that logic and reason should not be accounted for. This is simply to determine, in a moment of choice, what your authentic self would choose. Sometimes the authentic path is not the right way forward. There are many other things to consider when making a powerful choice in life, but if you can identify your authentic choice, it can give you at least one more tool you can use when making a tough decision. If you feel the right choice is one that your authentic self would choose, then surrender to it.