“...I really should be writing that essay right now. Am I going to have enough time to complete that assignment? Am I wasting time right now by not doing my work?”
Do you have those moments where thoughts about the work “you need to be doing” follow you everywhere? Even when you realize you need a break and decide to spend the night out with friends? You try watching a short movie to lighten your mood, and it ends up stressing you out even more?
I have. Yes, there are times where I really DO need to stop procrastinating and get to work. But so often, when I think I have plenty of time to meet all the deadlines and decide not to work, this idea that “I may be wasting the time I could have gotten some work done” arises. And it prevents me from enjoying the things I am doing at the moment.
This idea slowly takes over my thinking. The next thing I know, I am not actually listening to my friends talk but trying to find a way out of the conversation. Or I’m doing something with friends and wondering, “How can I cut out of this 10 minutes, or even 5 minutes, early?” even though I know those 10 minutes won’t really impact the work I have to do. I just get so stressed I can’t stop thinking about things I “should” be doing, so I miss a good conversation or a nice time with friends.
The worst part about this experience, at least for me, is that it takes away the fun I could have if I’d have learned to prioritize my happiness after the countless arguments I’ve had with myself about working versus taking a break.
So often I’ve found myself becoming exhausted when participating in things I’ve enjoyed because of worry about work piling up, so I gradually cut myself off from these activities. But that just made me more miserable, because I wasn’t having any fun…and that would make me less productive. Figuring out that I need both work and pleasure in my life hasn’t been easy.
So, I decided to make some small changes. I haven’t outgrown my old habits completely. But I’ve realized that instead of worrying about work so much that it takes the fun out of everything else, I can change when and how I worry about work by setting small rules for myself:
Choose moments you will not allow yourself to work
Being present in every moment of my life is hard. But I can be present in one specific part of my day—that’s doable. For me, that moment is mealtime. For a semester, I spent my mealtimes with a sandwich in one hand, and a pen in the other, watching a class lecture and trying to take notes. I only ate when I was too exhausted to do work that required any kind of creativity, meaning my eating times were random and didn’t match those of my friends. So I ate alone, and this meant (especially during COVID-times) I hardly talked to my friends face to face. But this semester, I realized that I need to eat no matter what, work or no work. And because it is something I need to do every day, a few times a day, this is the perfect time to put my academic work aside and focus on the food in front of me and the people around me.
Focus on what’s in front of you
I know, this sounds like a cliche, encouraging people to focus on the small things to achieve bigger goals. But that is not exactly what I mean. Sometimes, I get overwhelmed and lost when I am trying to work on a task while still thinking about all the other things I need to do that day.
In those times, I take a deep breath and I orient myself: “What am I doing right now? Okay, it’s this. I can do this, you got this.” And after a little moment of calm, I can go back to work. Some days I need to do it many times in one sitting, and other days not so many. Strangely enough, this weird “being present in even your work” can help me get things done.
Imagine your tasks as a stack, not an endless, scattered list
This is an extension of #2, and it may work well if you are a visual thinker like me. Sometimes I have so many things to do, I can’t keep it all straight. It’s like a sheet of paper with a million things written on it. Instead, I try imagining all the tasks I want to do each written on individual post-it notes. Then, I stack them. What can I see? Only the one on the top. I complete that, I peel it off and move onto the next one. That big scattered page listing everything I need to do today/this week/this month may help me see the big picture (and that can be useful), but using this “one-thing-at-a-time” stack helps me set aside other things I need to think about later and stay focused on the top thing that needs to be done right now.
These habits may not work for everyone. But I hope you find something that sparks your thinking, and that you can adapt to reduce your own stress and just be present with what you’re doing. After all, you’re already taking the first step of being present and reducing your stress by using some time to read this post!