The world is full of bad news, and it seems to be getting to people. We’re having what many call a mental-health crisis, with rates of depression and anxiety high and still rising in men and women, especially among those of us under thirty who are trying to make the choices that shape our futures. It’s a confusing, increasingly unaffordable, often unprincipled world—and that makes us wonder: How are we supposed to create lives worth living?
There are clues in the past that can help us answer that question. Western society has reached tremendous levels of wealth and success, and it did so on principles worth revisiting.
According to the Greek stoic, Epictetus (who was born into slavery and whose name literally means acquired), “No man is free who is not a master of himself.” Here we see the roots of the Western focus on the free individual bearing the responsibility of mastering the self. For such a society (and the people in it) to thrive, individuals must hold themselves to a high standard, be honorable and invested in bringing value to life. Epictetus said, “If your choices are beautiful, so too will you be.” We all have choices to make. We can choose how we think, what we do, and who we spend our time with.
Extending the individual's responsibility, Marcus Aurelius, the stoic philosopher/emperor who ushered in the Roman Golden Age, said, “The main thing we were made for is to work with others.” Humans were meant to work together and to serve one another, for each of us is of immense value. Aurelius also said, “If it is not right, do not do it; if it is not true, do not say it.” Clearly, he agrees with Epictetus that to live well, we should act and speak honorably, showing our care for others. We should even master what goes on in our heads. Aurelius said, “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” Making choices about how we react to things (good and bad), being honest with others and ourselves, and seeing ourselves as active agents in the world can make all the difference as we create lives worth living.
Aurelius also said we should “Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one." But what is a good person? According to Aurelius, “What is divine deserves our respect because it is good; what is human deserves our affection because it is like us.” God and love are good and just in his view. Letting such thoughts guide us rather than worrying about what others think or what might happen is helpful, for “Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” Ultimately, as Aurelius wrote, “The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.” Often, being in the minority of thought is a good thing. It means you are true to yourself and holding to your ideals. You can control your life rather than be tossed by the whims of others. You can make unique choices and shape your future in ways that benefit both you and the world you live in.
Yet there’s one last thing we all must face, one thing none of us can control: death. And what a humbling force death is. “Alexander the Great and his mule driver both died, and the same thing happened to both,” Aurelius reminds us. Alexander, who conquered the known world, is no better or less mortal than his servant. Understanding that death can occur to anyone at any moment is useful when it reminds us that our time is precious. Aurelius added, “It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.”
Imagine looking back at your life and realizing you never actually lived, you never took one risk, never pursued the things you loved. If we are to create a life worth living, we must remember we are living that life today. We are already living for something, dying for something—and our life means something. Once we see that, we can truly begin living.
By taking these lessons from the ancient stoics, perhaps we can step back and start with a renewed mindset. By mastering ourselves, minding our thoughts and interactions with others, and remembering the fleeting nature of life, we can focus on the things that matter most and live truly free lives.
(Pictures: Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius--pic courtesy of Ad Meskens--and some guy...)